Monday, August 23, 2010

What the %#*@ (and all those other 4-letter words)?!

So I am writing what may be the mostly greatly anticipated blog in all of my blog’s history. But, honestly guys, I’d be ok with you never wanting to read my blog if I never had to write about this again (aka I’m really ok with this drama never repeating itself again).

Due to the fact that I am somehow still employed, I hope you (my wonderfully, awesomely supportive friends and family) will understand if I am not completely detailed in my explanation of yesterday’s vagueness. And because I am the person I am, and I don’t feel the need to expose my boss’ personal issues to the world, you don’t get ALL the nitty-gritty. Besides, Facebook is locked down, my blog isn’t—you understand.

Well the situation is this. I received a not-very-friendly email request Saturday morning—yes you read that right, Saturday morning (which is better than the phone call that my non-texting co-worker got). This was a request for a self-evaluation. Not such an odd request from a boss. But this self-evaluation was to touch on some specific points—some which as per my understanding were resolved, which confused me greatly. Some points were very accusatory, calling my word into question.

Anyway, I was piiiiiiissed. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who hates that I never stand up for myself to my boss. He made me calm down, handed me a pad of paper and said “write down your answers.” I then typed it into a letter, and he edited it (multiple times). It was four pages long.

As yesterday’s blog indicated, I was scared shite-less. I was scared of his reaction, scared I wouldn’t be able to hold my emotions in check (angry Tracy=crying Tracy—I hate that), scared I’d be fired, scared I wouldn’t be, scared I’d quit, etc. etc. etc.

But this morning, I was nervous, but I wasn’t scared anymore. This was long overdue and I knew I was right. So I had knots in my stomach, but they weren’t scared butterflies anymore.

And the weirdest thing in the world was my boss’ reaction. He didn’t yell, he didn’t get mad, he got teary. He was scared. He was convinced that without a big raise I was out the door, and he didn’t have the money to give me that raise. And, truthfully, money was never an issue of contention. We do what we do at our office for a price our clients can afford. I know that, and I’m ok with it. But I’m not ok with the treatment I got for the salary I get.

At the end of the day, he agreed with every point I made. I still have a job, and I probably could make any request (non-monetary) and get it granted. I’m thinking I need some days off at the end of September to travel to Seattle. What do you think?

(And on another vague side note, my boss informed me of a decision he made resulting from my statements. I think it will be a good thing for him. I think it’s long overdue. Just maybe some good can come of this mess. And that, my friends, is all I have to say about that.)

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