Monday, January 30, 2012

Normal is for the birds

(Alternate titles: To heck with Normal; Whoever said I was normal, If you’re normal, I’m glad I’m not…etc…etc….etc)

My husband likes to remind me whenever I’m doing something the way my family does, that I’m not normal. Just having cake after a baptism—not normal. Christmas lunch of appetizers—not normal. So on and on goes the list. Some people may be offended by that…but growing up as one of eight kids, I learned quickly that a large family who didn’t have cable and drove a fifteen passenger van—ISN’T NORMAL.

And so, I like to think he came to this relationship fully cognizant of the fact that this her woman, she ain’t normal. And that means, often times I buck the mainstream. Sometimes I know what I’m doing isn’t how “normal” people do things. Other times I’m clueless. Meals after baptisms…I didn’t realize that was how “it was done.” I’d only seen it done once…but when I thought about it, I’d only been to one non-Knox child baptism. So we compromised between his “what people do” and my “just cake.”

But that got me thinking about what messages we, as parents, send to our kids.  We need to do what society expects of us…but we expect our kids to fall for the “we'll we aren’t everybody line” to their “but everybody does it” pleadings. And even though I’m not “normal,” there are times when I find myself falling into line with “everybody else.”

And so, I vow to continue to be abnormal:

We have three cars to a two adult household (See Marc, you’re not Normal either)

I’m a WAHM…pretty sure that’s not the trend.

I don’t have cable (and pretty sure Autumn’s going to have to deal with that growing up…are more channels worth an extra $700 a year or more?)

I cloth diaper my kid.

I will have more than 1.25 kids (apparently the average number of kids per US household is actually .94…how do you have a decimal kid?)—Hey, Hey we already scoffed the norm, but I plan to at least have double the average…how many can I talk Marc into?

I’m sure if you asked my husband, he’d have more examples for you…or “abnormalities” that have been “normalized.” But, I don’t do things for the sake of being normal, or doing what they do… If it makes sense, if it’s doable, and if I’m ok with it..then I’ll come to the main stream. At least that’s what I’m hoping I do.

Lately it’s become more of a thing I’m aware of. What we are projecting to our kids? We want them to be their own person and do what they do because it’s right or it’s what THEY want—but is that what they see?

Let’s make “Not Normal” the “thing to do.” My child’s on a great start. In 6M clothing and not even three months ( I don’t care that three months is in 2 days). Teething and not even three months…born the size of a giant…you see…definitely my child.

I better be a good role model on bucking the norm….Maybe I’ll start raising quail… Winking smile

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Sunny Days, Gloomy Days

I have one of the most sunshine-y babies….except when she’s not. Like today. 

Autumn seems to alternate awake days for sleepy ones. As if she has to rest up from/for the awake days. But also today was unhappy. When she was awake she fussed. Sometimes she was hungry (she’s on a feeding every two hours stint) and then she’d nap. Other times..well…other times she was just mad baby. Very mad baby.

Eventually, I decided to give her Tylenol—thinking maybe her one tooth was bothering her. I still don’t know. She won’t tell me what wrong...

However she does get almost instantly happy on her diaper table…there is a star that Brandy gave her that just makes her smile. I can’t leave her babbling up there all day—it just doesn’t seem the correct  parenting technique.

Then there’s the GloWorm that results in a hypnotic stare…but even sleepy eyes can’t close in the face of the GloWorm. And so I found myself on the floor of the living room, lying on my back with a baby on my chest. My legs were dead asleep and I almost couldn’t get up…by baby napped. And mommy was relieved.

Here’s to sunny skies tomorrow…

I hear the munchkin crying. And so I sign off.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Who I am

I was told recently (*waves* Hi Jason) that my Facebook status was not for me…apparently people want to know what Autumn is doing…good riddance to me. It’s happened—that identity change. No longer am I Tracy, but now mommy and Autumn’s mommy. And, do you know what? I am 100% ok with that.

My mom told me once when I was talking about being a stay at home mom that some people can’t do it. You have to have self-esteem that is not fueled by success at work. You cannot have an identity that is your work. An I can see that…other people need to get out of the house…or need to feel intellectually challenged on a daily basis. And by that I don’t me trying to answer “why not?” with something other than “because I said so.”

My identity is definitely not my work. Heck, for half my life my family was my identity. “Oh you’re one of that clan.”

That said, I still work. I have the pleasure and privilege of being a part-time work at home mom. I an extremely lucky to have family who can provide the hour or so daycare that I need for the munchkin. And everyday I get to see that beautiful face smiling at me (don’t worry she yells at me sometimes and provides MANY diapers to change too). I know there will be days when I need a break; I’ll need to lock myself in the bathroom/office/bedroom…but for today…

Today, I am Autumn’s mom…and that is just who I am.


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I will be better…


Maybe I will be a better blogger.  Then again, maybe not.

Maybe I will be better at cleaning my house. Then again, maybe not.

Maybe I will be better at making a nice dinner every night…Then again, maybe not.

All that really matters is this…

And NOTHING’s Better than that!