Today’s Wedded Wednesday presents us with a question: What had you learned by the end of your first year of marriage that you didn’t know before you tied the knot?
This is a tough one. I’m sure we continue learning something about ourselves, our partner and our relationship each day. Sometimes it’s a conscious lesson and other times an observation tucks itself into our subconscious to present itself later unknowingly.
The week of our wedding, I learned my husband is quite the artist when he labored tirelessly to create a special place holder for his soon-to-be-sister-in-law.
I learned I actually like to mow the lawn, but that my husband doesn’t want the neighbors to think he makes his wife do all the yard work. I learned that my husband enjoys (or maybe just doesn’t mind) raking and so I will let him take that chore with no worries about what the neighbors think.
But maybe most importantly I learned that I will and can concede to my husband’s concerns and worries, even if I don’t share them. I’ve been accused of “having to be right” (although in my defense I usually am right ) and “arguing” a point until it’s dead. I’ve learned that there are some instances where I can be quite right quietly. You know sometimes it does not actually matter. Sometimes soothing a worry and letting something be is much more important.
Speaking of worrying, I’ve also learned that we are both worriers, but mostly for the other. Marc worries about me and I worry about him. Of ourselves we are usually most confident. It’s become particularly apparent with my job search. It’s constantly “Is that job in the city?” “Is there lighted parking?” “You won’t be there at night will you?” It’s kinda cute, but I’m not sure how it’d sound to tell a potential employer “I’d love to take this job, but my husband won’t let me.” LOL.
I’m sure I’ve learned many other things, it’s a part of living together. Some are small like he doesn’t like sweet breakfast foods for breakfast, and Miracle Whip better not touch his sandwich (which somehow turned into me hating mustard—nasty rumors). Some are bigger, more integral to the workings of a relationship. Some are public, some are personal. But the discoveries and how they weave into a relationship are the things that make a relationship strong.
I look forward to learning for many many more years.