Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tracy the Criminal

First noteworthy item, the hubs has whipped the ‘puter into shape. It’s up and marching along. Yay!

But back on topic. As part of the employment process with the four letter acronym-ed bank, I must complete a series of steps.

First, there’s the education and employment background review. Education=easy, they call my school. Employment? Well, I didn't want them contacting my former boss as I’m sure you can all understand. Therefore, I had to provide the company doing the background search with five years worth of W-2s. Within 72 hours. Now I knew I have three years. Five, wasn’t so sure. Luckily when we bought out house I requested five years from the IRS. I dug up the house paperwork and *voila* five years. Then I had to fax them. Which I did, via my computer, a scanner and a phone line. Technology is wonderful (Thanks Kurt).

Then I peed in a cup. I told hubs “today I peed in a cup.” He turns to me with the most horrified look on his face and said “I hope not! Why would you do that?” I couldn’t help but laugh. You see, I had to also be drug tested before employment. Which was the most you-are-a-criminal-feeling process. And, well, kinda gross. The you-are-a-criminal-feeling part may seem pretty obvious. They put a blue chemical in the toilet to make sure you peed, you can’t flush the toilet, you sign things, blah, blah, blah. But the gross part? Well the sink in the bathroom didn’t work. So you have to wash your hand in the “exam room” (or whatever they call the room). But you bring your nice “sample” to said exam room. And, before you wash your hands, they hand you a pen. Sign and date here. Open this, put the cover on there. Then the woman took the pen and cup from me. THEN I could wash my hands. I guess after thinking about it, I’m glad I washed my hands after touching the who-knows-where-it’s-been pen. But throughout this process, the woman DID NOT WEAR GLOVES. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

And tomorrow, I will be fingerprinted.

Because, clearly, I am a criminal, just look. Robbing Minnie’s fridge… the nerve.



1 comment:

Mark said...

Get used to it. I have to get random drug tests. In fact I just had one Monday. I wish people on welfare had to do that...