Sunny Days, Gloomy Days

I have one of the most sunshine-y babies….except when she’s not. Like today. 

Autumn seems to alternate awake days for sleepy ones. As if she has to rest up from/for the awake days. But also today was unhappy. When she was awake she fussed. Sometimes she was hungry (she’s on a feeding every two hours stint) and then she’d nap. Other times..well…other times she was just mad baby. Very mad baby.

Eventually, I decided to give her Tylenol—thinking maybe her one tooth was bothering her. I still don’t know. She won’t tell me what wrong...

However she does get almost instantly happy on her diaper table…there is a star that Brandy gave her that just makes her smile. I can’t leave her babbling up there all day—it just doesn’t seem the correct  parenting technique.

Then there’s the GloWorm that results in a hypnotic stare…but even sleepy eyes can’t close in the face of the GloWorm. And so I found myself on the floor of the living room, lying on my back with a baby on my chest. My legs were dead asleep and I almost couldn’t get up…by baby napped. And mommy was relieved.

Here’s to sunny skies tomorrow…

I hear the munchkin crying. And so I sign off.

Who I am

I was told recently (*waves* Hi Jason) that my Facebook status was not for me…apparently people want to know what Autumn is doing…good riddance to me. It’s happened—that identity change. No longer am I Tracy, but now mommy and Autumn’s mommy. And, do you know what? I am 100% ok with that.

My mom told me once when I was talking about being a stay at home mom that some people can’t do it. You have to have self-esteem that is not fueled by success at work. You cannot have an identity that is your work. An I can see that…other people need to get out of the house…or need to feel intellectually challenged on a daily basis. And by that I don’t me trying to answer “why not?” with something other than “because I said so.”

My identity is definitely not my work. Heck, for half my life my family was my identity. “Oh you’re one of that clan.”

That said, I still work. I have the pleasure and privilege of being a part-time work at home mom. I an extremely lucky to have family who can provide the hour or so daycare that I need for the munchkin. And everyday I get to see that beautiful face smiling at me (don’t worry she yells at me sometimes and provides MANY diapers to change too). I know there will be days when I need a break; I’ll need to lock myself in the bathroom/office/bedroom…but for today…

Today, I am Autumn’s mom…and that is just who I am.

 

I will be better…

Maybe…

Maybe I will be a better blogger.  Then again, maybe not.

Maybe I will be better at cleaning my house. Then again, maybe not.

Maybe I will be better at making a nice dinner every night…Then again, maybe not.

All that really matters is this…

And NOTHING’s Better than that!